Thursday, August 4, 2011

Redbox Characters

Redbox Browser”   This is that person that has been looking over the same movies for 10 minutes while you wait furiously behind them.  They know that you’re standing right behind them in 90° heat, rain, snow, or freezing weather. However, they are not considerate enough to kindly choose their movie and keep the line moving. You would like to think that everyone has access to the internet and they should try to reserve your movies online.  Really?! You have to have some idea of which type of flick you’d like to see before you pull up to the Redbox! Even if they don’t have access to the internet, Redbox has both Android & Iphone applications, so download, and use it.

The Entourage”   This is the small crowd that has gathered around the kiosk, it normally around 5-6 people and they are all trying to get their own movie or worse decide on one movie, in turn, becoming “The Browsing Entourage”!  Sometimes there are several credit cards involved or even small arguments erupt over who is getting what movie and if they can swap them after they’re finished! Again, “Entourage”, utilize your internet and cell phone apps - someone has to have it available.  Finally, do all your swapping once you get back to your cars, bikes, walking path, or just all of you go on back home & watch it together. You know you all live in the same place!

“The Jerk” This is that person browsing through movies at 8:55 PM.  There is normally a line of anxious people behind him either breathing hard out of frustration or even cursing trying to get to the kiosk to return their movie before 9PM.  If you are  “The Jerk”, please  be  considerate of the people that are waiting behind you trying to return movies.  Maybe one of these people behind you are trying to return a movie that you are either looking for or may be interested in. Or that can kick your ass!

The Shadower”    This is the hot breath that you feel on your neck while you’re looking for a movie.  They are often also known to be that low voice behind you commenting on the movie or even giving away the ending.  You try to turn around or clinch your purse to give them the “you’re too close” alert, but they continue to stand over your shoulder browsing right along with you.  You may start to get a movie but as you’re choosing they will offer their review of the movie or even just straight out tell you “don’t get that movie the main character dies at the end.” A few suggestions for dealing with this individual; ask him/her to politely back off, or if you aren’t in a rush, then just go ahead & tell them “hey go ahead, you go, while I stand here behind you showing you how irritating you just were to me!”

If you happen to see one of these individuals’ at your Redbox, do not stop, do not park, pull out! Just go on down another block or two, to your next 7-11 or whichever store you frequent to hit up the Redbox! When you get to the Redbox spot, make sure you peep the scene, check out all surroundings, and know your environment in general. Most importantly, stay as safe as possible. Use common sense;  and ladies if your alone, don’t go out to turn in your movie  at  9 PM, if your Redbox is on the street where all the prostitutes walk at night!! Try and reserve your selection before hand, and be courteous so you don’t become one of these Redbox scoundrels! Happy renting! 

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